Time to Quit Being a "Good Girl"

Like a lot of women my age I was raised to be a “good girl”. A “good girl” never raises a fuss, never argues, certainly never fights! A “good girl” must always be kind and sweet ... and quiet. A “good girl” does as she as told to do and does not question why.

I tried. I tried real hard for a very long time to be a “good girl”, and you know what it got me? Depression. Chronic, severe, mind-numbing depression. That's it. That's all I got. Well, that's not really true, I got a lot more than that. I got walked on. I got used and abused by people who claimed to love me. I got disrespected, belittled and demeaned. I guess I really did get a lot from being a “good girl”, it just wasn't anything good.

So I am done being a “good girl”. Sorry, I can't play that role any more, and I am not going to sit silently by while others are being coerced into that role either. I was called a “slut” by my peers for 4 years before I ever had sex, so if you want to call me a slut, be my guest, its been done to death. I have worked very hard all my life to not be a bitch. I do like to bitch, but I have always tried never to be one unless absolutely necessary. Well guess what?!? It is freaking necessary! I am so sick and tired of self-righteous, judgmental, ignorant people trying to dictate everyone else's lives. I am freaking done sitting quietly by while people who have never met me and have no legitimate personal interest in my life try to tell me that I am a bad person simply because I do not agree with their ignorance.

I just can't do it any more. If people want to say I am crazy for the things I believe, well that's just fine, it leaves me in some pretty good company I would say. I am crazy anyway, so its kinda like telling a fire that it is hot, but whatever floats your boat. ...  And that is really how I think it should be. People should be free to do and believe whatever the hell they want to believe and do, just leave me out of it. Let me pursue my life however the hell I want if you are not a part of it. And if you have the nerve to try to force me to live my life differently than the way I want to, then you should have to compensate me for it. I do not understand why that is not fair?

Lets look at birth control, a hot topic in the news these days for some ridiculous reason that I still do not understand, just as an off-hand example. I have no personal interest the whole birth control issue anymore, and really never did. I took “the pill” when I was 12 because my cycles were just crazy irregular and they helped to regulate everything so that I was far more “regular”. I took it for 6 months. Never took it again. I did have the birth control “implants”, whatever the hell they were called, for a few months back in the 1990's, but I had to have them taken out because they made me even crazier than normal. Other than that I have never really used birth control. Not because I had any moral opposition, mostly because I just don't think I need to be messing with my hormones any more than necessary. But that is a personal choice. And I have given birth to 6 kids as a result of not using birth control, and guess what? Oh you will love this – the taxpayers paid for all of the medical care involved in all of those pregnancies, except the first one – the one where I was an un-wed teen mother – the state did NOT pay a dime for that one! And guess what, I do not feel the least bit guilty or ashamed. I firmly believe that every human being in the world has a right to basic medical care. Especially when the government makes laws restricting access to alternative medicines, then they should be obligated to provide us with that “medicine” which they deem “acceptable”. Seems pretty simple to me. If you take away my choices, my rights, you must provide me with the means to pursue my Life, Liberty, and Happiness without those choices.

I just picked that topic because it seems to piss people off so completely. And more importantly because it is nobody's business except the person with the uterus. My point is that the government needs to worry more about protecting people from each other and less about protecting them from themselves. And the religious right wing needs to focus on getting their own houses in order before they go around telling anyone else how to live. The Catholic Church really needs to STFU on moral issues, they have no ground to stand on. The same goes for most of the political right wing zealots, when a guy has been divorced twice, and has violated pretty much every ethical and moral code in every book, he should really keep his moral judgments on other people to himself. Seriously.

So until they STFU, I am not going to STFU. Until they stop judging and dictating I am not going to STFU. I am going to keep bitching until this bitch gets heard! If you do not want to pay for my life, then you do not get to tell me how to live it. And the same goes for every other person on the planet. Put up, or shut up, because I have put up with way too much for too long to shut up now.