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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

My Life "On the Dole"

In my last blog post I mentioned that I have received Government benefits of some sort or another for the vast majority of my adult life, but I didn't elaborate on the whys of any of that.  I did that on purpose.  You see, it really shouldn't matter why, and those who think it does would never appreciate the reasons anyway.  If people want to think poorly of me for it they are going to do so, no matter what the reasons were.  But for those of you who would still like to believe that Mother is a good and decent person and not just a perennial leach on the hard working folks around the country, for you, I would like to explain the details now.

I have NEVER wanted to receive a dime from welfare, that has never been my goal or my plan, I actually despise having to deal with the system in any way, shape, or form.  It is degrading, humiliating, and infuriating at every level to have to deal with Government employees, and I hate it.  That being said, when the need arises for one of my kids, I will deal with the devil himself to get it dealt with.

Okay, so my story, Reader's Digest Condensed version:  When I was 18 I was pregnant with my first child (no he was not an accident).  I lived with his father who received Social Security Survivors benefits at the time, and he was in college, so he got Pell Grants and Government money for that.  We received no other benefits, no food stamps, not even medical, my parents kept me on their insurance through the birth of our son.  When we separated, I gave him custody of our son because I didn't want to go on Welfare. 

And I managed to stay off the system for three years.  It wasn't until three years later when I was married and working a part-time job that I had to apply for Welfare for the first time.  My husband was ill and unable to work, we didn't know what was wrong with him yet, that would come later.  When I became pregnant on our wedding night I had no choice, I had to have medical care for the baby and there was no other way to get it.  We got food stamps, medical care, and a couple hundred dollars a month in cash I think.  That was it.  I was working the entire time too, right up until after my son was still-born six months later.  The grief and despair took over my life for a few weeks and it was all I could do to look after my oldest son who had been back living with me since just before the wedding.  I just couldn't handle going to work, and I really did try.  I loved my job and the people I worked for, I wanted to go, I didn't want to let them down.  But I just couldn't.

It was just over 2 months after the birth that we finally learned what was making my husband so ill for so long.  Two weeks before his 29th birthday, a major artery in his brain burst open, and he suffered a stroke and died.  Unfortunately, dumb ass that I am, I preformed CPR and brought him back to life.  It turns out that artery had been swelling for months, pressing against something in his brain and that was what was making him so ill, and when it finally blew open it was catastrophic.  After he started breathing again he said it felt like someone was pouring gasoline in his brain and setting it on fire.  The emergency surgery they preformed at the hospital sealed it off but it took months for him to be able to do much of anything again.  And gee, guess who had to take care of him 24 hours a day 7 days a week, yeah, that would be his wife.  Kind of hard for me to get a job and go to work when he can't be left alone and there is no one else to take care of him.

Nine months later my third child was born, 7 weeks premature and he was in the Neonatal Intensive Care for 5 weeks with one problem after another (most of which were caused by the staff).  My husband still walked with a cane and had a patch over one eye as the aneurism had damaged his optic nerve.  We had applied for Social Security Disability for him, but they were still claiming he had an "alleged" brain aneurism and an "alleged" stroke and were refusing to give it to him.  Now how you fake a brain aneurism and a stroke I do not know, but that's not important I guess.

One year after my third son was born I finally left my husband the first time, and I did apply for welfare as I was pregnant again at the time, and had two children under school age to take care of.  Unfortunately, again me being the dumbass I am, I reconciled with my husband shortly before my daughter was born and three months later we finally received a settlement from Social Security, and he was given disability benefits each month (which he still collects to this day).  We tried to be responsible and used the settlement money to buy a house in town (with running water and electricity!) but we got ripped off by a con man and almost lost the property that we already owned too.

Anyway, I tried several times over the next few years to get a job and get us off food stamps and everything (we didn't get any cash from welfare once the Social Security kicked in, but we still got food stamps and he and the children had medical coverage).  It was three years later before my #3 son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (High functioning Autism) but the signs and the issues had always been there.  He couldn't go to day care because he couldn't learn to use the toilet, and he couldn't communicate.  His father had his own mental issues, plus we would later learn that he too has Asperger's Syndrome, and physical limitations and was unable to care for the two youngest kids on his own, so when I worked I had to pay a baby sitter to care for the kids and my husband.  I could never make enough money for it to improve our conditions, no matter how hard I tried.  If I made too much then my husband would lose his medical coverage, which we could not afford, and my son would lose his therapy, which we could also not afford.

When #3 son was almost 6 he was finally diagnosed, and a few months later we started receiving Social Security disability benefits for him as well. It was funny that they didn't even argue on his, they saw the diagnosis and just started cutting him a check, but with a piece of titanium holding an artery closed in his brain his dad might have been faking it?  It was after he was finally able to start Kindergarten that I was able to go to college to try to get the education I needed to make enough money to cover everyone's expenses without relying on the Government.  But of course that meant taking more money from the government to pay for the cost of going to school.

Okay, so now, after suffering through ten years of this disabled asshole treating me like I am crap every damn day while I am breaking my fucking back doing everything for him and everyone else while he sits on his fat ass getting hemorrhoids (for which he needed surgery - twice! Because he never would get off his damn ass!), I finally had enough.  I gave him the house and every item of any value that we owned, and took the kids and moved out.  All I wanted was custody of the kids, that was all that mattered.  And he promised that if I let him have the house and everything else he wouldn't fight me for them.  In taking the kids that meant I took our son's Social Security benefits, and the dependents benefits that the kids and I received from his account (which wasn't much).  This pissed my ex off to no end.  He didn't care that I took the kids, he just wanted their money.  And he used every trick in the book to cause problems for me to try to get me to give him that money.  For five years I fought tooth and nail to keep custody of my kids while he made up lies, and filed court case, after court case, after court case.  And once I met the man I am now married to, it got worse, and worse.  I was in court no less than 30 times in two different states before he finally found a Christian Conservative Republican judge who was so outraged to learn that my new husband and I were Atheists that he was more than willing to overlook my ex-husband's criminal record, psychiatric history, domestic violence history, and current substance abuse because he wanted to take the kids to church and I didn't.

And, now you know why I have such an extreme prejudice against Christian Conservative Republicans, and Morons.  I have not seen, or even spoken to, my #3 son or my daughter since that day.  It has been six and a half years. And if you have not been there you cannot even hope to imagine the immensity of the pain that that causes every single day, so keep any fucking judgements you may have to yourselves.

I quit fighting for those kids that day because I still had three other children who needed me, and that judge terrified me.  I knew he was trying to find a way to take the rest of my kids away, and even if he wasn't, I couldn't take the chance.  My husband sold the house and we left the state as fast as we could. Since that day in court I have not received a dime from the Government, well, other than income tax refunds.  My kids do get medical coverage from the state now, but they went without any for years.  And we rarely use it anyway.  They are healthy, and I don't believe in taking kids to the doctor for a cold or a scratch, so they don't cost the state much in treatment.

So there's my story of  what a lazy, worthless "Welfare Queen" I am.  I left out a lot of details, like living without running water or electricity for three years, and all the things I mentioned last time that I have done for others over the years.  So, if you want to judge me harshly, at least you have a few facts to base your judgements on.  I don't expect any sympathy or compassion, I would just like people to stop and think once in a while BEFORE they assume that everyone on Welfare is lazy and looking for an easy, free ride.  It ain't easy, and I have paid a higher price in the loss of my dignity and self-esteem than anyone should ever be made to pay for the simple privilege of feeding their children.  So take your judgements and shove them where the sun don't shine and count yourself damn lucky that you never have to face the realities that life threw at those who weren't quite as lucky as you.

Monday, August 27, 2012

It is Very Simple, Love Me as I Am, or Shut the Fuck Up and Leave Already

Hello Internet People, My name is Mother, and I am NOT Pleased.  I am so fucking tired of people who apparently don't have the mental capacities to think for themselves, and who have no interest in reality or facts, running off at the mouth on my fucking Wall.  Yes, I usually just ban their asses so I do not have to read their idiotic tirades, but I am really tired of having to do it.

I did not invite any of them to MY world, I have repeatedly told all of you that I REALLY DO NOT care what you think.  I don't you know.  Not even a little bit.  I am who I am.  If you do not like who I am, then fucking LEAVE ME ALONE.  Let me make this perfectly crystal fucking clear right here and now, I LOVE everyone, EVERY single human being on the planet, but that does not mean that I necessarily like any of you.  I think EVERY person deserves to be treated with dignity and respect - until they show they don't deserve it by refusing to treat others that way.  And above ALL else I think it is sick and perverted for a single human being to be going hungry, sick, or homeless in today's modern world while other are hoarding billions of dollars for no reason other than greed. 

If you think your "God" is really concerned with whether or not some woman has an abortion when he is letting millions of children starve to death around the world, then you are as sick as he is.  If you think your "God" will reward you with eternal life for being a hate-filled, selfish bigot then I REALLY don't want you anywhere near me or any other civilized human being.  I have told you all before I think the whole "Judeo-Christian-Muslim" faith is just stupid and demeaning to all decent, intelligent human beings, if you do not like that fact, then just go away NOW!  PLEASE!  PRETTY PLEASE!  I am asking as nicely as I fucking know how, because I am just so totally and completely beyond tired of hearing about it!  If you want to believe in all that nonsense, be my guest, more power to you, just fucking keep it to yourself because you are only reinforcing my stereotype that ALL religious fanatics, but especially the Christian Conservative Republicans, are fucking selfish, greedy, evil bastards hell-bent on the destruction of all that is intelligent.

I am not open to debate on any of this.  I do not get paid a fucking dime to do any of the things I do either here or on Facebook.  The same people who bitch and moan about how offensive I am, or who tell me I "should be shot and burn in Hell" for my beliefs would probably like to see me die of starvation, disease. and exposure since I am "not a productive member of society".  I don't have a job.  I have never really worked a full-time job for any length of time in my life.  I am physically, mentally, and emotionally incapable of working 40 hours a week for someone else. And for the majority of my adult life I have depended upon some sort of Government assistance, at least for my children's medical, and often for much more than that. So I should just die, right?  The millions of things that I do to make the world a better place for other people, they don't count because I don't get paid for them.  The dozens of families I have fed from my gardens over the years, they don't count because they couldn't afford to pay me.  The dozens of children who sleep warm and sound wrapped in the quilts that I made for them, they don't count either.  The dozens of children I have clothed over the years, they are completely irrelevant because their parents had no money to give me.  The hundreds of people I help find joy and happiness every damn day, they don't count.  The hundreds of students I have tutored, nope, they don't count. The tens of thousands of dollars I have saved the Government by not having my children in public schools that I still pay taxes for even though I am poor (poor people may not pay income tax, but we pay all kinds of other taxes, so I am tired of hearing about that too!). The thousands upon thousands of hours I have spent counseling, teaching, and advising other people who needed it, that doesn't count for shit.

You see I am just a lazy deadbeat who lives off the system.  Well, not currently, I was lucky enough to find a husband to support me for now.  But, because I choose to give my time and my resources to others without expecting compensation, I am a worthless person to those who only value money.  When I try to ask for fair compensation for my time and my skills, I am of course terrible for that as well, so I really do NOT fucking care what any of you people think of me.  Like I said, if you don't like me, fucking leave already.  I probably won't like you either, and it is no great loss to anyone if you are not here.




Sunday, August 26, 2012

Sorry People, But Hating The Hypocritical Republicans Does NOT Make Me a Democrat!

Once again, something I posted on Facebook stirred up a bunch of stupid people who don't know how to keep their stupidity off my damn page.  Now, I try to keep most of my political opinions over on the "Mother Has Issues": Facebook page, because that is what it is for, but they are both MY pages and I will post whatever I damn well please on them (within Facebook rules of course).  What really bothers me though, beyond people bitching about what I post on MY page, is that so many stupid people ASSUME that just because I am adamantly against the current platform of the Republican Party, and pretty much ALL of the Republicans in and or running for office this year, somehow that makes me a Democrat.  I am NOT.  Sorry to disappoint you all, but I am neither.  I am an American.  I support individual freedom and personal responsibility 100%, therefore I cannot support either party.  In the past I have voted for a few Republicans (never for President - the choices in my adult life time have been abysmal) AND I have voted for a few Democrats (okay, twice for President - but the second time it was only to vote AGAINST the Republican candidate that terrified me!).  Other than that I have rarely voted for either party, but I do vote.

I do NOT intend to vote for President Obama this election, but I will if I feel it is necessary to keep Romney from winning my State.  I don't think it will be, and I would much rather vote my conscious than vote in fear again, but Romney terrifies me almost as much as Sarah did.  Almost.  But in some ways even more.  I want to vote for Rosanne Barr if you want to know the truth.  I like her.  I agree with most of her political views as far as I know.  But you have never seen me campaigning for her on my pages, and it is unlikely you ever will.  And that is sad really.  But I somehow doubt that my campaigning for her would hurt Mr, Romney's campaign in the least, and if it hurt Obama's campaign, that would only help Romney's, so I can't do that.  I am a realist.  i know that by voting for Rosanne I am "throwing my vote away" according to many people since she has no chance to win.  But the only reason she has no chance to win is because so many people think that way.  The media has already decided we have NO other choice than Obama or Romney, so every one believes them.  I doubt the vast majority of registered voters in this country even know that Rosanne is running!  And those that do refuse to take her seriously.  But she is not the only one, there are dozens of other candidates out there as well that no one ever hears about because the big money people who really run things in this country don't want you to think you have another option.

I do not agree with Obama on a LOT of issues.  But I will NEVER tolerate anyone disrespecting the man, or his family, or his Presidency on my pages.  I am extremely disappointed in him.  I had high hopes when he was elected, but he has not lived up to them.  And I do NOT blame him for the crap that the Congress has pulled throughout his Presidency, but I do hold him accountable for his policies and his priorities, and I find them severely lacking.  I know that there are restrictions and limitations, even on the President of the United States, but there are a lot of things he could have done, many of which he said he would do, that have not been done.  But that does not mean I will tolerate anyone calling him names, or belittling him in anyway, I will NOT. 

I am tired of the lies, the hypocrisy, and especially the greed, FROM BOTH SIDES of the aisle.  I want my Gawd Damn Country Back!  And I do not mean back in the 1800's!  I mean I want the we the PEOPLE back in charge, not the we the rich.  I want the Constitution back, re-written perhaps to respect ALL people, but I want the Gawd Damn Freedoms that I was promised by our Founding Fathers back!  Neither side is offering me that, and until they do I cannot support any of them!


Saturday, August 25, 2012

A Few Words About Those Words You Can't Say on Television

"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cock-Sucker, Mother Fucker, and Tits"  Most of you probably recognize the "Seven Words You Can't Say On Television" from George Carlin's infamous comedy genius, and if you don't, do yourself a favor and look for it on you-tube or something.  The album was "Class Clown" and it was one of the very first albums that I ever owned on vinyl, still have it too, along with a complete collection of his recordings on CD, but that is another story.

 I learned my Love of words, in part, from Carlin, and that includes ALL the damn words in the English language (or at least in the slightly butchered version of American-English that I use).  I like to swear.  I enjoy it.  Yes, I swear in front of my kids, hell, sometimes I even swear at my kids.  But 99% of the time that I swear at my kids it is done in fun, not in anger.  And no, my kids don't swear when they are little.  All five of them learned very early that some words are not appropriate for children, once they hit their teens and can learn to control who they use it in front of, I don't care so much, but its just easier for them not to swear at all than for me to have to worry about them cussing in public when they are little.  Yeah, they all slip once in a while, because they have heard the words every day of their damn lives, but they have all been pretty good about it, it has never been an issue.

I know some people just get their panties all in a bunch over the use of certain words, especially the word - Fuck.  I personally Love the word Fuck.  But you have probably noticed that by now.  It is a very useful and versatile word that can be used to express a myriad of thoughts and emotions quite succinctly, and I fucking love to throw it in whenever the mood strikes me.   I understand that some people are sensitive to the word, for whatever reason, and I can accept that, but they need to just stay the fuck away from me so that we don't have any issues, because I am not going to stop using it for anybody.

Its funny, whenever I write a blog post here that is filled with those "bad" words (okay, so mostly fuck, and occasionally shit, I don't really use the rest of them much)  I usually get one or two people who at least comment on my "language" if not complain outright, but those posts are also the ones that get read by the most people.  If I am write something G-rated fill with fluff and happy, nobody reads that crap.  But if I cuss and swear up a storm, hundreds of people come to read it!  So, even if I had ever considered cleaning up my language before, you all have convinced me that that would be a really stupid fucking idea, so its a good thing I never considered it.  The entire point of this blog was so that I can swear without worrying about offending anyone.  I didn't invite anyone here who doesn't enjoy my language as much as I do.  If you found your way here and you do not like my language, that is not my fault.  You can leave any time you like, and please try to remember not to return.

As for the rest of you, thank you for taking a few minutes from your day to occasionally read the mad rantings of the crazy lady who Loves you.  I hope my words can entertain you, or maybe even inspire you to follow your own fucking path and find your own damn voice in this world.  I do not give a crap what anyone says, we need more people cussing and swearing about the fucked-up shit going on in this world today!  I spent the first 44 years of my life sitting quietly in the corner, cleaning my finger nails and biting my fucking tongue, I ain't doing it any more.  Not for anyone.  No fucking way, no fucking how, not fucking happening.




Thursday, August 23, 2012

What the Hell is Wrong With People? - be advised contains strong language

I am so sick and fucking tired of the Christian Conservative Republicans in this fucking country.  The whole fucking lot of them are fucking insane, and they are fucking dangerous, but instead of locking them up in a mental institution where they might get the help that they so obviously need, we give them their own television networks, and let them rum shit in our fucking government.  What the hell is wrong with this country?  The only terrorists I have seen attacking this country in the last decade are these freaks who think that their stone age beliefs should be forced down everyone's throats!  I am so sick and fucking tired of it.  Its ridiculous for them to be all upset about the Taliban and al Qaeda trying to force the world to follow Sharia Law while they are trying to mandate their fucking archaic Christian ones!  Fuck you!  Every damn one of you who thinks that your twisted interpretation of some poorly translated fireside fairy tale book should be forced upon anyone, you all need to just pack your bags and go straight to your fucking hell and leave the rest of the world alone.

I tell you one thing, I do not know what the fuck a "legitimate rape" is, but I do know what a Legitimate fucking Idiot is, and they keep popping up on my Television screen with the letter (R) after their names. I do not understand how people who claim to be Christians can be so hateful and judgmental and think that their "God" would be okay with that.  Get the fuck over yourselves already.  How can anyone say that government should NOT regualte businesses, banks, or Wall Street, but that it SHOULD regulate who people can marry, whether or not people can have sex and how they should be allowed to do so, and with whom, or how many children that women must be forced to produce if they ever do have sex, or any fucking thing else for that matter.  MY personal life is not up for YOU to legislate, fuck you.  If what I am doing somehow affects you, then that's a different story, but no one's sex life affects you whatsoever, except whoever it is YOU are having sex with.  I have to assume that MOST of these asswipes never have sex and that is why they don't think anyone else should, but I really don't care about their sex lives, because, oh gee, its none of my damn business!

While we are talking about the ridiculous insanity that is running rampant through the Republican Party lets not neglect the fact that they seem to think there is nothing wrong with spending trillions of dollars blowing up, and then rebuilding other countries around the world every year, but somehow it is disgusting to invest anything in our own country or our own people.  Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these people?!  They have stolen the Social Security Trust Fund that ALL Americans have paid into, and now instead of repaying it, they want to pretend we would all be better off handing our futures over to the same mother fuckers who just tanked the economy a few years ago.  Seriously?!  I cannot be the only one who sees how completely and totally fucked up our entire fucking government has gotten!

We can't fly on a plane without being treated like criminals, we are physically molested and our bodies  invaded by cancer causing particles for the sake of "public safety".   They criminalized and demonized one of the most useful plants ever know to mankind, and despite decades of scientific evidence they still insist on continuing their ridiculous prosecution of victimless crimes while allowing the rich to steal the rest of the country blind without so much as a slap on the wrist.  No, they want to reward them even more, take what little this country has left and give it all to the greedy bastards, maybe someday they will piss it back down at the rest of us.  Fuck you.  I am just sick and fucking tired of all of it.  Sick and tired of a government who wants us to spy on each other instead of working together.

I just wish there was some place in the world where people, regular people like me, were really Free to live their lives however they see fit, as long as they don't hurt anybody else.  Why is that so fucking difficult?  This is the 21st fucking Century, why are so many people insistent on remaining in the stone ages and demanding the rest of us stay there with them?  We don't have to be afraid of the dark any more, its time to turn on the fucking lights already and let people shine how ever they want to shine.  Quit trying to put out everybody else's damn light, and start enjoying the glow, or crawl back under your damn rocks where you belong!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

An Update on Mother Plus Brand New Apple Recipes!

I haven't done any writing or sewing in over two weeks and it is starting to wear on me I think.  I have been working.  And like most things in my life, when I do work, I  tend to work obsessive-compulsively.  So I started out doing inventory for my eBay store and ended up revising, editing, or completely re-listing over 1500 products so far.    I still have hundreds of listings to create, or re-create, for the boxes upon boxes of inventory taking up valuable real estate in my sewing room, but I have been thinning the stock to remove products I know will never sell, so there will be less to deal with. 

Apple Tree - after three years in this location

And, in addition to dealing with the "work" that might eventually make me money, I have been dealing with the "work" of processing the bounty of our yard. My husband has a prodigious green thumb, and even though we did not plant a garden this year, there are still foodstuffs to harvest and preserve. I think I mentioned earlier in the summer about the 20 or so pounds each of strawberries and cherries we harvested.  Well, last week I spent two entire days processing grape juice from about 15 pounds of the grapes from his grapevines that run along part of the front fence.  The last two days have been spent processing the 27 pounds of apples that he picked from the little apple tree in the front yard.  He bought the tree at one of the local big box stores for $15 three years ago and just stuck it in the ground and three short years later we have gotten our money back out of it.  It also provided an extra bonus, apparently we already had an apple tree along the side of our house, but it must have needed another one to cross-pollenate it, because last year was the first time it bore fruit in the 5 and half years we have lived here.  He still hasn't picked the ones on that tree yet, so I will have more to process once he does.
Grapes - up close and personal

Grape Vines on Front Fence

Anyway, I ended up with over two gallons of grape juice, which the boys just LOVE!  I froze 9 quarts of apple wedges for future baking needs, and we made a half gallon or so of fresh apple juice!  Now making the grape juice is easy, I have done that many times, and while it is time consuming and rather messy the way I do it there is not anything hard about it.  I just throw the grapes in the blender to smash them up, and then squeeze the resulting mush through a series of colanders and cheese cloth until I get a clear juice.  I even froze about 1/2 gallon of the grape juice in ice cube trays so we can have some later too.

But making apple juice was a whole new thing.  It was, of course, my husbands idea, so he looked up directions on the internet and told me what to do.  We filled one of our biggest pots two within an inch or two if the rim with apple wedges, with enough water to let them all move freely when stirred, I brought it just to a boil on med-high heat, then turned it down to low and let it bubble slowly for 2 or 3 hours, until the apples started falling apart.  Then we mushed them with a potato masher and let it cool off.  Next we took a piece of cheese cloth and dumped a bunch of the gooey apple gunk into the middle of it and squeezed the juice out into a clean bowl.  We save the goo that was left in the cheese cloth and put it all in the blender.  We strained the apple juice twice through the cheese cloth, and then ran it through one of those re-usable coffee filters.  My husband did add a little sugar, as our apples aren't a very sweet variety, and a little water, but the resulting juice is absolutely delicious!

Now we had a blender full of pulp leftover from making the apple juice, and since we had peeled and cored the apples prior to cooking them, I couldn't let that go to waste!  So I pureed it into the consistency of baby food and put it in the refrigerator until I could figure out what to do with it.  My husband suggested an apple cookie, so I used part of it to make some Apple Oatmeal Cookies (recipes to follow), and then I decided to make some Quick Apple Cinnamon Rolls, an Apple Oatmeal Cookie Cake, and some Carmel Apple Icing to go over the rolls and the cake.  Of course, my luck being what it is, when I had the cookies half made in the bowl I found out I had no flour! So, being the queen of making due with what I have, I used Bisquick in all of my recipes, because that is what I had plenty of.  I spent most of the day yesterday in the kitchen concocting these recipes, but I did manage to use up all the puree, and everybody liked the results so I call that a good day!  You could add raisins to any or all of these recipes (except the icing of course) and that would be really good, but my kids don't like raisins, so I can't do that.

Apple Oatmeal Cookies

1/2 c. butter, softened
1 c. brown sugar
1/2 c. white sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
1 c. apple puree
2 1/2 c. Bisquick Baking Mix
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. cloves
1/8 tsp. allspice
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
3 c. oatmeal

Cream together butter and sugars well.  Beat in eggs, vanilla and apple puree until well blended.  Combine Bisquick with spices and then add to mixture and blend well.  Stir in Oatmeal.  Drop by Tablespoonfuls on greased cookie sheet and bake for about 15 minutes at 350 degrees.

Apple Oatmeal Cookie Cake

Spread half the cookie dough in the bottom of a well-greased 9" square pan and bake at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes.  Let cool and frost with Carmel Apple Icing.

Carmel Apple Icing

1/2 c. butter
2 c, brown sugar
1/4 c milk
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 c apple puree
3 - 4 c powdered sugar

Melt butter over low heat, stir in brown sugar and let boil for one minute until it starts to thicken.  Remove from heat, slowly whisk in milk a little at a time, and then the vanilla, and finally the apple puree.  Place 3 cups Powdered sugar in a large mixing bowl, slowly beat in enough of the liquid until you get a thick, but still slightly runny, frosting-like consistency.  Spread over cake or rolls while still slightly warm.

Quick Apple Cinnamon Rolls

3 c. Bisquick
1/4 c milk
1 c. apple puree

Filling
1 c. apple puree
1/2 c. cinnamon sugar 

Mix ingredients together, adding additional Bisquick as needed to make a firm dough.  Roll out dough into a 9' x 15' rectangle.  Spread with 1 c. apple puree and then generously coat with cinnamon sugar mixture (brown sugar and cinnamon probably would have been even better, but I was tired and we have premixed cinnamon sugar in the cupboard so that is what I used).  Carefully roll up along longest side and pinch the edges to seal it into a roll.  I slide plain waxed dental floss under the roll and then cross it over on the top and pull to cut the slices, but however you want to do it, slice the rolls about 1 - 1/1/2: thick and then place cut side down in a deep well greased cake pan.  Bake at 375 degrees for about 25 -30 minutes and allow to cool slightly before spreading Carmel Apple Icing over the top.  Best served warm.

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Thursday, August 2, 2012

Thinking About Starting My Own Religion

Well, I was gonna write another blog post or two the other night, but I decided to spend some time with an old friend instead.  So I pretty much checked out of reality, well other than dealing with the kids and chores and work, and spent the last couple of days re-reading the first two books of the "Clan of the Cave Bear" books by Jean M. Auel.  I just have to say I fucking LOVE Ayla!  She is my fucking heroine above all others!  Yes, I know she isn't real, but neither are most people's "heroes" so I don't fucking care.

Okay, for anybody out there who still hasn't read the books, Ayla is the main character, the books are set in pre-historic Europe, and they follow Ayla over the course of her very eventful life from the age of 5 forward.  She is a Homo sapien child adopted and raised by a group of Neanderthals, and the author weaves a fabulous tale of the two cultures, their differences and their similarities.  The research and effort that the author put into these books was both phenomenal and inspiring in and of itself, but the conclusions she has drawn and the story telling are truly captivating.

Now when the first one was published, there was a big commotion over it, it was fabulously popular and sold million of copies spending weeks on the New York Times Best sellers lists.  And because of that I refused to read it.  I am weird like that, the more popular something is, the more likely I am to avoid it.  Even my Mother, who hates to read, read the damn thing before I did.  But still I refused.  It was out for more than a decade before I finally read it.  I was in my late twenties and going through a phase of reading everything I could that was historic and pre-historic fiction.  I found a couple of other authors around the same time that I hope to have a chance to tell you about later as well, but when I finally met Ayla, was when my life really started to change.

To me, she is probably one of, if not the greatest female characters of all fucking time.  She is the heroine of her own story, and she becomes the heroine of the stories of everyone she encounters, even the people who hate her just for being who she is..  To me she is the epitome of strength, courage, and unconditional Love.  If I was going to worship a "God" - she would be mine.  And I am totally serious when I say that, I have tears in my eyes as I type it and my heart is so full it feels like it is bursting.  I know it sounds completely ridiculous, especially if you have never read the books, you can have no clue what I really mean, but I am completely serious here.  No, I do not worship her.  But pretty damn close.

I own the complete set in the series now.  I even per-ordered the last one, months before it was released.  I admit I was disappointed in it.  Not in Alya, but in the writing of the last book, I still haven't been able to finish it.  But the the first four books are breathtakingly mesmerizing, I cannot recommend them highly enough.  I have read each of them at least 6 or 7 times over the years.  They inspire me.  They give me hope.  They give me the strength and courage to face the cold, cruel world again with the Love in my heart exposed for all to see.  I am who I am, I will not hide myself for your convenience, and I should not be asked to.  If you don't like me that is your choice, go away and leave me alone because I don't like you much either.  But I will always Love you, and do my best not to hurt you, I might even try to help you.  I don't have to like you to Love you. 

My Love is unconditional.  I Love all people, whether I like them or not, whether I agree with them or not, whether they like me or not, makes no difference to me.  I don't have to Love what you think, what you say, or how you feel, and I am not going to pretend that I do, but I will defend your right to do it.  Just as I will defend my right to tell you when I think it is stupid, cruel, and hurtful. 

I wonder, could I start my own religion worshiping a fictional character?  I am really not trying to be a smart ass here, it is a legitimate, serious question.  Alya embodies everything I would want in a deity, and her belief system putting much parallels mine, I have found guidance and salvation in her story, why couldn't I make a "real" religion out of it?  I could be the first prophet, preaching the gospel of Ayla!  I kinda like the idea.  I have never had much need for religion in my life, but I might just change my mind for this one.  I promise I will try not to become too radical in my fundamentalism, oh who the hell am I kidding, when I have I ever been anything but radical?