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Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Totally Baked, And Then Deep-Fried

Hello again Lovely Internet People!  I was just sitting here enjoying my Tuesday and decided I would pop in here and see if we could find something interesting to talk about today.  My wonderful husband, who almost never actually reads this Blog, has a delightful little habit of trying to tell me, at least once a day, what I should write about here.  I really wish he would just write his own Blog and quit doing that, but he is just so darned helpful.

I spent the entire day yesterday in the kitchen, in part due to that wonderful helpfulness of his.  I started out in the morning making some pretzel bread rolls.  I discovered something like them at the store last week and they were absolutely delicious so I set out to make my own.  Unfortunately the recipe I found was only for a very small batch, 8 little rolls, that was all it made.  So, after I finished the first batch, and determined they were almost as delicious as the ones from the store, I made another batch, this time doubling the recipe.  Much better.  Now there are enough that I even let the kids have some.

As I was cleaning up the kitchen from the last of the bread making, my wonderful husband decided that he wanted to make donuts, from scratch.  Translated into normal English, this means he wanted me to make donuts from scratch, but he would cook them when they were all ready to be cooked (I don't do deep frying, that is his job). 

Of course, being the glutton for punishment that I am, I decided that since I was going to be stuck in the kitchen for the rest of the night anyway, I might as well make dinner too.  So I set about chopping all the veggies and meat to make fried rice.  Of course chopping and cooking all that stuff meant that I didn't have the time to mix up the donut dough, so I had to do that after dinner.

Once I finally had the dough made, kneaded, risen, punched down, rolled out, and cut into two dozen donuts, with a half dozen cinnamon rolls made from the scraps of dough leftover, and everything rising on the counter for the second time, the phone rang.  It was my oldest (not-so-)long lost son, and this was the first time I had heard from him in over a month, so I really needed to talk to him.  And of course my husband is watching a movie in the living room with the two youngest boys, so the TV is blaring while I am trying to talk on the phone, and deal with baking the cinnamon rolls, and making the icing for the donuts, and cleaning up the disaster area I had created in doing all of this cooking and baking shit.  Fun times. 

It was almost 10 o'clock last night by the time my wonderful hubby finished cooking all the donuts, which I of course had to do the glazing of, but they were delicious, so I guess it was worth it.  Of course the kids don't like them though, so now I have two dozen donuts to eat before they go bad, which if you know me you know that's not gonna happen, so I guess "worth it" becomes a relative term.

I did actually manage to get everything done, and the whole mess cleaned up and put back to normal before I went to bed last night.  For me, that is a major accomplishment!  So, YAY ME!  (I couldn't resist, and decided there was no reason I should resist anyway; I don't know about the rest of you but I could use a lot more celebration in my life.)

Well, now I have a kitchen full of good food to eat, and a head full of new ideas and good intentions, I guess I better sign outta here and see what other interesting things I can do today.  If I come up with something really good I might be back, cause you know I cannot keep good things to myself very well. If I don't come up with anything good, well, then I will still be back, just with a whole lot of nothing to say, as usual.

Until Next Time ... 

Friday, October 25, 2013

Fighting Back Against Bullies

Hello there Lovely Internet People!  I hope everyone out there on the interwebz is having a beautiful day!  I shared an article this morning on my Facebook pages that contained a poem written by a beautiful young woman who had taken her own life in response to the bullying she was subjected to.  You can find that story here, in case you missed it earlier.  

Now bullying is a topic that I have written about a lot, both here and on Facebook, so it shouldn't come as a shock to anyone when I tell you that I cannot stand bullies.  What might be surprising if you haven't been paying attention, is that I acknowledge quite readily that I can be as much of a bully as anyone else.  We are all bullies to one degree or another, it is just a part of human nature.  And while I fully support all the efforts currently being made to bring awareness to the devastation that can result from the societal acceptance of such destructive behavior, I really don't think we are ever going to be able to stop bullying from happening.  We should certainly keep trying, but I think there is a very important piece of the puzzle that we are missing here.                           

I really like the idea of the "Stand Up, Speak Out" campaign, but we need to take it much further.  We need to be teaching kids how to defend themselves!  No matter how hard we worked to eliminate bullying, it isn't going to happen, we can reduce it, but we won't ever be rid of it, because our society demands it.  Everything in our lives today is a constant reminder of how demented our priorities have become, we are constantly told how damaged, or broken, or just plain fucked up we are by advertisers trying to sell us their latest miracle cure for how messed up they want us to believe our lives are.  

Where are all the billions of dollars being spent on telling people that it is okay to accept themselves just as they are?  Oh yeah, there is no profit in that.  How can we convince people to sell their souls for our products if they like themselves?  They might figure out they don't really need 90% of the crap that keeps us living the high life while they toil there lives away for that little carrot of lies we dangle just out of their reach.  We can't have that now can we?

Yes, yes we fucking can have that!  That is exactly what we need, and we need it desperately!  We need to throw off the yoke and take back our lives.  But, until that happens, we really need to give the kids who are being tormented and tortured every day the tools and the skills to defend themselves.  I survived my adolescence solely because I had just enough of those skills to make it through the daily grind, if I had more of them, I might have been able to not just survive but to thrive, and that is what I want for every kid. They all deserve to thrive, to have the best possible life in the best possible world, and it is up to all of us to try to give them that opportunity.

So, now that I have finished my habitual long and circuitous route to get to the freakin point, what can someone who is being bullied do to protect themselves?  You use whatever the heck you have to work with I guess.  Humor and intelligence have always been my best defenses, but a quick foot to the groin has come in handy at times as well.  I learned to use their words against them, to twist what they said against me into something that made them look as stupid as they were acting.

I remember in 8th grade, one of my usual tormentors started accusing me of being a "witch".  No, not the kind with the "b" in front, an actual, magical type, hocus pocus witch.  So I stood up in front of the entire class, and I put a "curse" on her.   I waved my hands in the air and mumbled a few nonsensical words and then told her she had been cursed for all eternity.  She freaked out!  She spent weeks begging me to remove the curse!  I never did. 

Whatever rumor they tried to start, whatever assumptions they tried to make about me, I usually found a way to counter, by taking it and running with it. When they tried to get physically aggressive, I found the largest person in the school, and made her my best friend.  She was 5' 11" tall and weighed in at over 350 pounds, in the eighth grade, and she was a bad ass!  People tend to not want to fight you as much when they know they are going to pay for it, all I had to do was mention her name and they would scatter away like frightened little mice. 

Because I had always been a target I chose to befriend the other targets.  The outcasts, the "losers", the "rejects", those were my people, and they still are.  I like real people.  I have no interest in shallow, status quo loving people, never have.  Different, weird, strange, these are some of the words they used to describe me, and I embraced those words, with every fiber in my being, I own them, and I take PRIDE in them!

The victims of bullies will remain victims as long as they do not know there is another way.  We need to show them the way.  The answer is not to just educate the bullies, and the bystanders, we need to educate their victims too.  We need to empower kids to take control of their own lives and their destinies.  They can do it, they are perfectly capable of defending themselves if we allow them to know that they can.  Maybe, just maybe, if we let them stand up for themselves before they are completely broken, then maybe we can start saving some lives.

Do not live your life in fear of the bullies.  Never allow others to define who you are, and never believe that any one else can determine your value.  And for goodness sakes remember, no matter how loud or insistent the negativity may be, there is 99 times more quiet positivity stand right there beside you.  Just because you can't hear it at the moment doesn't now mean it is not there for you to gain strength from.  We are out here, and we will love you, just the way you are, but you have to make it through the shit first so that we can have that chance.

Until Next Time ...


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Family Friendly Fun!

Here is a song that I re-wrote for my kids last night, This one is sure to be a hit with all ages!

Mother's Writing New Giggle Songs

 Hello again Lovely Internet People! I have been sitting here for nearly three hours staring at this blank page and trying to figure out what the heck to write about today.  Drives me crazy when I do this.  I have too many things to say, and to do, I don't have time to waste with indecision and writer's block.  This shit really blows. 

Well, now it is an entirely new day and now I do have some really good stuff to share with all of you.  After the several hours I spent sitting here doing absolutely nothing I had a sudden inspiration yesterday afternoon and I took off running with it.  And boy howdy did I run!  It turns out I have another hidden talent that I was previously unaware of, and this one is turning out to be more fun than I ever could have imagined!

Mother has ventured into the world of song writing!   Well, not really, more like, song re-writing.  If you have been around here since the beginning you probably don't remember me mentioning once, a long time ago, that when I was a teenager I had a major mind-crush on "Weird Al" Yankovic.  Right up there with the one I had on George Carlin.  While I enjoyed pretty much all the songs that "Weird Al" put out, I never really thought that I could ever do something like that.  Until I tried.  It turns out, not only can a write like that, but I think I might actually be pretty danged good at it!

I shared a couple of the songs that I re-wrote with a friend of mine in the music industry, and she said they were good!  Then I shared some with my husband and the kids, and they all liked them too!  Now, I realize that this is not a diversified audience sampling, but I am still going to take it.  

I have been going back and forth all night about whether or not I want to publish my new songs here in written form, or wait until I can record them myself before letting them out into the interwebz.  I have decided I cannot wait.  These are too much fun to keep hidden away.  I wrote them, so I do own the copyrights to all of them, so don't try to steal them or I will be really sad.  If you want to use them, I could easily be talked into selling you the right to do so, but I do expect to be credited, and maybe even paid.  

Either way, I sure hope you all enjoy reading these as much as I enjoy re-writing them, because I have a whole bunch already done that I am going to share, and I hope to re-write a whole bunch more before this phase of my creative development is over.  I am seriously having WAY too much fun with this shit!

I decided to turn them into pictures so it will be easier to keep my name attached to it.  Any attempt to remove my name would prove intent of fraud and theft. I really want you all to be able to share it with every one who might enjoy it, I just want credit for what I have created.  Just like everybody else.

So, Until Next Time ...  



Saturday, October 19, 2013

Take Your Shame And Shove It!

Hello again Lovely Internet People!  What should we talk about today?  I know Mother has been pretty bitchy with her postings lately, perhaps we should take a different approach today.  Naw, bitchy is fun, I think I'll keep at it.

I managed to chase a whole bunch of people off of my Facebook Page again yesterday.  Actually, both my main Pages lost followers.  Yay!  I find it terribly funny that people get so mad at me for admitting to being poor and refusing to apologize for it.  They get so angry, assuming that I am "getting something for nothing", and yet they forget that they are on my Page, doing just that.  

No one pays me a dime for all the posting I do, here or there, you all get to enjoy it (or not) for absolutely free any time you want.  And that is okay, but somehow it is not okay for me to be allowed to eat, or see a doctor when I am sick, simply because I don't make as much money as you?  Gee, if you paid me for the work I do for you, maybe I would, didn't think of that now did ya?

I am not sorry that I care far more about making this world a better place for all of us than I do about collecting vast amounts of your almighty dollar.  I refuse to apologize for having a different set of priorities than you, especially since I believe with all my heart that my priorities are correct, and yours are not.  You should really be apologizing to me!  Your ignorance and selfishness are the reasons why I am poor anyway, because I refuse to emulate you.  I refuse to believe that the value of a person has anything to do with their financial status and if you disagree, well, I am sorry, there is nothing I can do to make you use your brain or your heart, and that is your loss, not mine.  
I work hard, every damn day.  7 days a week, 52 weeks a year.  I give back far more to my community than I have ever taken from it.  Just because what I do is not done for monetary gain does not make it any less valuable to the people it helps.  Just because I don't choose to participate in an established organization in order to help others, doesn't mean I am not helping.  I am who I am, and I do what I do because of it.  I don't ask for anything in return, but I do need to survive in order to continue doing it.

If you think poverty is something to be ashamed of, you have come to the wrong place.   The only people who should be ashamed are the ones who cause the poverty, not the ones who endure it.  I am not poor because I am lazy, or lacking in intelligence or work ethic.  I am poor because I just don't give a shit about money.  I care about people.  I care about learning.  I care about helping people learn.  I care about Love.  I care about a lot of things, but I do not care about money, or appearances, or what you think of me.  Not even a little bit.

You can curse me, condemn me, mock me, or vilify me as you choose, but you will not change me.  Many before you have tried, and failed, as miserably as you will fail.  I am who I am for a reason, and I am here for a reason, I have a purpose and a mission, and just because you cannot understand it does not diminish it in the least, it only diminishes you in your refusal to open your eyes and your heart to the world around you.  And that is not my problem, it is yours.

Until next time ...                                          

Friday, October 18, 2013

Only Rapists Cause Rape.

Hello again Lovely Internet People!  We are going to jump right out of Mother's comfort zone today and tackle one of those cultural issues that I prefer not to discuss, sex.  Forced sex, to be more specific, also known as Rape.

I have been reading a lot of really sickening and disturbing comments lately on articles which reported on the sexual assaults of women and even children!  I don't know where all of those disgusting individuals are being created, but who ever is doing it really needs to fucking STOP!  Those people are sick in the head and they need a serious dose of some fucking reality, STAT!  

I do not care how a woman dresses, how much she drinks, or where she chooses to go, there is NEVER any time when it is okay for one person (or a group of persons) to force sex upon an unwilling participant.  PERIOD.  End of fucking discussion.  I don't care if the woman is a Prostitute who decides to walk down the street buck naked while incoherently intoxicated, no one has the right to touch her without her damn consent!  EVER!

To the best of my knowledge I have never been raped.  I have experienced two attempted date rapes, and one attempted gang rape, but I escaped all of those encounters basically physically unharmed.  I was lucky, in part because I was smart, but mostly because I was just fucking lucky.   There was not a damn thing that I did to cause any of those situations, women do NOT cause rape.  (With the exception of course of those women who are the aggressors in a sexual assault, I know there are some of those out there too).  Maybe I should rephrase that, Victims do NOT EVER cause rape!  There, that's better.  Rapists cause rape, only rapists, always rapists.

The incredible double standards we have about sex in our modern world are beyond revolting and idiotic.  A man who brags about having sex with multiple partners is glorified, but a woman who does that is vilified.  He's a Stud, she's a Slut.  No.  Fuck you.  Neither are correct.  Unless you are one of the partners, its none of your damn business, keep your stereotypes and labels to your damn self.

Seriously.  Get the hell out of other people's sex lives.  It is none of your damn business.  Period.  Sex is a normal natural human need.  Human beings are designed specifically to enjoy sex, especially women!    Women are all born with one special body part that has absolutely no other purpose in its existence, except to provide her with pleasure, sexual pleasure.  If you think this was an accident, or a mistake in design, well then you best take that up with your infallible "God" and leave the rest of us out of it!   

The body of any individual is sovereign territory.  NO ONE has the right to violate that territory without your consent at any time, for any reason.  Period.  It does not matter how you dress, where you go, what you do, how much money a person spends on you, or anything else, no one has a right to force themselves upon you EVER. 

I know that until women are seen as actual human beings by our society nothing will change.  When our governments finally acknowledge that we are perfectly capable of regulating our own lives and our own bodies, maybe men will begin to recognize that they do not own us.  Women are not property to be controlled, and until we stand up and refuse to tolerate others controlling our lives and our bodies we will never be safe, we will never be free, and we will never be equal.                                        
Until Next Time ...                                                
I stole this picture off the web - it originally linked to :

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Bullies Are Morons

Hello there Lovely Internet People!  Happy Spirit Day everyone!  For those who don't know what Spirit Day is, I found this link on Wikipedia which explains the origin and intent of the day.  And, although the day is meant as a show of support to the LGBT youths in particular, I think it is a good day to remember that every child, every person, in the world deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.

I hope ALL of you out there are doing your part to teach your children and grandchildren not to bully others for their differences.  I fucking hate bullies!  Every last freaking one of them!  And I especially hate it when they drag me down to their level and leave me no alternative than to bully them right back!  From the terrorists holding our nation hostage to their outrageously hateful ideologies, to the corporate media forcing unrealistic and unhealthy standards on everything down our collective throats every damn day, to the little punk on the playground demoralizing his classmates to hide his own inferiority complex.  I cannot stand any of them!  And to anyone who says that Bullying is a normal part of life and people should just "grow a thicker skin", to you I say :  FUCK YOU YOU SICK FUCKING DOUCHE-BAGS!  Don't like it?  Well, grow a thicker skin.  Or better yet, try being a better human being! 

I am so sick and tired of the apologists trying to pretend that Bullying is no big deal.  It is a HUGE fucking deal and if you cannot see that you are probably part of the fucking problem.  "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me" = BULLSHIT!  Words leave scars that never heal.  Words destroy lives, destroy families, destroy nations.  Words are powerful, far more powerful than any stick or stone could ever be.                           
I was never physically beaten as a child, not by my family, not by the kids at school, not by anyone.  But I was beaten bloody on a daily basis by the words of cruel and heartless kids and well-meaning but ill-informed adults.  I have spent the better part of my life being told, basically on a daily basis, how utterly worthless and and completely unworthy I am to even be allowed to breath the same air as other people.  Don't tell me that is not supposed to hurt.  And don't tell me to just "get over it".  It doesn't work that way.

People are people.  We are all different, and we are all the same.  Life is difficult enough on this planet without the constant need to place others beneath you.  That is what we really need to "get over".  Our differences are our strengths, and while I understand that being fearful of that which is different is an evolutionary survival skill that served us well at one time, it no longer serves us, at all.  It only limits us, all of us.  The way to a happy world does not lie in minimizing or minimalizing our differences, the answer is to acknowledge and celebrate our differences and to learn to collaborate our strengths, not clobber each other with them.

I understand that all bullies are essentially fearful and  insecure individuals who think their self worth depends upon finding someone they can step on in order to lift themselves out of their shallow dreary lives, but there is a better way.  A much easier way even.  Get over it.  Quit taking your problems out on other people and try accepting yourself for who and what you are.  Quit hiding from your truth and using your own fears as an excuse to punish those who refuse to hide from theirs.  

I want to make this point VERY freaking clear, Bullying others is a sign of weakness and stupidity.  PERIOD.  When you put down someone else you are telling everyone that you believe you are the "unworthy" one.

Together we can build a better world for everyone, but only if we can actually learn accept each other and ourselves.  As long as we continue to allow our differences to be denigrated and marginalized we are pissing away the best our world has to offer.  And I for one just wish you all would stop!  Now would be good.

For all the Lovely Internet People out there who may be struggling with the nonacceptance of others, please remember there are resources out there for you.  USE THEM!  There are a lot of people out there who will love you and appreciate you for who you are, I know, because I am one of them.  Mother Loves you, all of you.

Until Next Time ...
Remember ...
Bullying is for Losers 

For help, support, or more information please visit:                                             

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Oprah Said A Dumb

 Hello there Lovely Internet People!  Mother has found a solution to her disenchantment with Facebook by setting herself up with a Twitter account.  Now I get a real Newsfeed with ALL of the posts showing up ALL of the time!  Hooray for me!  You can find me over there at @MomsNotpleased if anyone is interested.  Not that I will post anything different over there, but you might get to actually see what I post if you are interested.

Now that I have a constant influx of new information and entertainment again, I have found a whole bunch of new topics that I will be trying to write about in the coming days and weeks.  And I am starting with Ms. Oprah Winfrey and the incredibly stupid thing she said recently during an interview with the incredible Ms. Diana Nyad.  Now I am going to preface this by stating clearly, upfront, that I have never been a fan of Oprah, nor have I ever been a detractor.  I admire her strengths and her talents and much of the good work she has done, but I never really paid a whole lot of attention to her, or her shows, or much of anything else she has done.  

But when she told another human being that they weren't really what they thought they were because their beliefs don't line up with her stereotypes, I was aghast!  That just floored me.  Excuse me Ms. Winfrey, but you are the last person on this planet who should be perpetuating such terrible awful things as ignorant stereotypes!  

I am an Atheist and I do experience massive amounts of awe and wonder at the world around me!  I just don't relegate those wondrous things to being the work of silly little fairy tales full of bile and oppression.  I absolutely believe in the realities of miracles and magic, but I know they are always the result of science and nature, not wishful thinking.  There is no need for God or religion in order to be awed by the beauty of our world, to state otherwise makes you look like an idiot.  I am no less of a person for choosing to favor facts and reality over some imaginary friend in the sky, and for someone like Ms. Winfrey to try to belittle or denigrate me and those like me for not believing in her little friend is outrageous and sickening.  A woman of your life experience really should know better than to denigrate others based upon ridiculously ignorant stereotypes!  I will be waiting patiently for my apology, even though I know I will never receive it.

Until Next Time ... 

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Dear Malala Yousafzai

Dear Malala,

You do not know me, and I certainly do not know you, but I have followed your story since the day it first crossed the world to reach me.  Like millions of other people around the world I have watched in rapt awe at the journey you have taken and the strength and courage you have shown in the face of unspeakable evil.  

Today I heard you speak for the first time.  For months I have heard hundreds of people expressing their wish to adopt you as their own child because of the inspiration that you are, and I sincerely understand their desire.  But after listening to you speak today, it is my most fervent, heart felt wish, that you would adopt me!  You may have only seen 16 years on this planet, but you are the wisest and the oldest soul I have ever had the intense pleasure of encountering.  You are a true hero.  I salute you.  I applaud you.  I support you. 

Mostly I just want to Thank You.  Your courage and wisdom serve as the greatest testament to the truth of what you fight for and in that I hope I can someday grow up to be just like you.  Thank you for putting words to what I have always known, and for having the strength to stand up and speak out so much sooner than I did.  And please tell your parents that I Thank Them as well, for supporting and enabling your voice, the entire world owes them a great debt of gratitude for their gift of you.

One Mother who is Extremely Pleased to have people like You in this world!

 Malala Fund

Karma Called, She Is Coming For You!

Hello!  Hello, hello, hello all you Lovely People out there in the Internet!  I hope everyone is enjoying this delightful Fall (or Spring, for those of you in the southern extremities) day!  Mother is finally coming out of her latest funk and is preparing to take on the world once again.

The latest shenanigans in our Government really threw me for a loop emotionally.  Not because what they are doing has any real affect on my life, it probably doesn't, but I know that the number of people that it will affect is far greater than the numbers we are being given, and I am deeply concerned because I am a human being with compassion and empathy, something we could use a lot more of in our Government right now.

What upset me far more than the morons in the House of Representatives, was the reactions of their supporters.  One lady wrote a post about how she had whole-heartedly supported the Tea Party platform, until she was the one being hurt by it.  Yeah, fuck you bitch!  It was fine and dandy as long as they were only attacking the people you don't like, but when it affects you, its suddenly horrid!  Fuck off!  It has been horrid since day one, nice of you to finally notice, but you will have to forgive me for not giving a shit about your petty little personal problems when you are finally getting what you deserve.  Paybacks are a bitch aren't they?

It is slightly refreshing to know that at least a few of those people are finally getting what they deserve.  If you have spent your time, money, or energy trying to deprive others of their freedoms or their security, then you do not deserve to have any either.  My only wish is that Karma would shit on the rest of them as badly as they have shit on my country.

I saw the new movie "The Purge" the other day.  That really pissed me off.  Nice concept, wrong enemy.  It isn't the poor that we should be removing from our society, it is the ubber rich.  They are the ones that cause the real problems, like pollution, and poverty, and the wanton destruction of pretty much everything in the pursuit of the all-mighty dollar.  The world would be a much better place without the rich than it would be without the poor.  Actually, it would be a much better place without the selfish and greedy bastards, doesn't matter how much money a person has, I know plenty of jackasses who are poor too. 

And that is the whole problem for me in a nutshell.  Why does how much money you have determine a person's worth?  Why am I automatically assumed to be worthless because I do not want to spend all of my time and energy in pursuit of money?  Is there really nothing else of value in people other than their net worth?  How can people think like that?  I mean seriously, I spend a lot of time bitching about how shallow people are, but this is taking shallow to the extremes!  Sick, evil, twisted freaks are celebrated because they have lots of money, while decent, loving, hard-working  people are vilified because they don't.  What the hell is that?!

I have a novel idea.  How about instead of fighting to force your beliefs down everyone else's collective throats, why don't some of you try living them?  How about instead of falling for the hyperbole and propaganda designed to keep the "common people" fighting amongst themselves, we stop fighting and start looking out for each other?  How about we all start acting like grown ups and start paying attention to the things around us that really matter?  If people could put even 1% of the energy they spend on who's football team is better into making our world better for everyone, we would have a fantastic place for everyone to live.  As long as we keep letting them distract and divide us they will always be controlling us.  Only when we see our own power and start taking it back to use for what truly matters will any of us be free.

Until Next Time ...                                      

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Telephobia Is Not Fun!

Hello there Lovely Internet People!  Mother has always tried to be pretty open about her myriad of psychological malfunctions.  I don't see them as something to hide from or be ashamed of, there are a necessary and normal part of my survival, and I do my best to enjoy them whenever possible.  
Unfortunately there are some dysfunctions, that while they may serve a useful purpose in my struggle for survival, they are not really fun, or even funny.  My telephobia is one such dysfunction.  I really hate the freakin telephone.  I am not really "afraid" of it, its not like I think it is going to grow teeth and bite me or anything.  I just have a freakin panic attack every time I even think about calling someone, or just answering the damn phone.

I had to call eBay today to deal with a stupid customer who refused to take no for an answer and tried to use a second account to buy an item she knew she was blocked from buying.  What she did was totally and completely against eBay rules.  I was completely in the right, and I knew that, but I still had rivers of sweat cascading from both armpits that could have rivaled the annual output of the Amazon, and knots in my stomach tight enough to strangle an insect.  It really didn't help either when the woman who answered the call had an extremely thick accent that I could barely comprehend.  I have a hard enough time understanding what people are saying on the phone when they speak clearly, throw in an accent and I am totally lost.  I cannot understand speech unless I can see the person speaking, it doesn't process correctly in my brain.  I hear the words just fine, I just cannot understand what is being said.  Even in person, I can't hear you if I am not wearing my glasses, on the phone, I am lost.  And no, video calling would NOT make it better!  I sure as hell don't want people to see ME when I look like something the cat wouldn't even drag in most of the time!

So, after 20 minutes of back and forth, I think I have everything straightened out with eBay.  Still not sure, but I think so.  Of course if the stupid customer tries to leave me a negative feedback I will have to go through this shit all over again, but for now I think I am covered.  

That phone call was two hours ago.  I had to take a bath when I got off the phone.  I was soaking wet from sweating, my entire body was shaking, and my hands and feet were completely numb.  And this was from a call that had very little possibility of not turning out in my favor!  Two hours later, after it did turn out in my favor, I am still shaking.  I can feel my toes now, but controlling my fingers to type is still a challenge.  

I can't even handle calling people I do want to talk to!  I am always sure it will be a bad time, and that I will be bothering them, even if they told me to call!  And having them call me isn't much better.  Every time the phone rings my heart stops beating.  Our phone doesn't ring very often, and when it does it is usually not someone we want to talk to, so the sound of the ring hits me like a mortar round exploding in my head.  Its not pleasant.

I do have a cell phone.  But I don't use it.  I got it for emergencies, but since I don't get to go anywhere by myself, if there was ever an emergency the only person I could call is already with me.  I have never sent a text message and have no interest in starting, computers are for messaging, they work just fine.  From what I have seen, most people who do a lot of texting seem to forget how to spell, or how to use grammar or punctuation, and generally come across as being unable to form a coherent thought if their life depended on it.  Not something I have any interest in, I have enough issues of my own, thanks anyway.

Oh well, I survived another encounter with the evil beast, that is all that matters, right?  Until next time ...

Monday, October 7, 2013

Mother Is A Heteroclite

Hello again Lovely Internet People!  Mother is settling in nicely to her new fantasy world of equality and common sense.  It is quite pleasant here, especially since it is so sparsely populated. There is plenty of room in the west wing for anyone who cares to join me.  

Today, in my fantasy world, I am celebrating, and taking ownership of, how incredibly successful, and just plain fucking awesome, I truly am.  I have survived 46 years in a world that appears to have been exclusively designed to ensure my continued longing for the sweet release of death, I call that a success!  I battled through more than two decades of culturally induced and family mandated chronic depression and came out the other side happier than I ever dreamed was possible.  I call that a major success!  In a society that defines success solely based on the relentless pursuit of having far more than you could ever need, I have learned that the true value of a life is found in living it and treasuring every moment of it.  I have seen past the facades and illusions created to engineer a status quo that serves only a select few and their shallow narrow-minded world view.  There is no greater success than that.

In my opinion, freedom of the mind is the greatest success a human being can attain.  The ability to rationally examine our ideas and ideologies and where they came from is a truly unique human ability, something that no other creature on earth can do.  Unfortunately far too few human beings are willing to concern themselves with where their beliefs come from, they are too busy proclaiming them to be the only valid beliefs that any one can have.  Even when presented with evidence that counters their beliefs most people would rather attempt to attack, belittle, and/or discredit the evidence than take one second to examine why they believe what they believe, or whose interest is really being served by that belief.  There is no greater success to be found in this life than to be the master of one's own thoughts, and in my continued ardent determination to become master of mine I will claim immeasurable success, whether any one else wants me to take the credit or not.

I learned a new word yesterday that I really like because I think it could be used as a very accurate adjective to describe me.  The word means : "irregular, abnormal, anomalous" or "a person or thing that deviates from the ordinary rule or form" according to  Sure sounds like me to me!  So, I have decided to start telling people that I am a Heteroclite, just to see the reaction I get.  I don't know about you all, but this had success written all over it in my book!  

So my Dear Internet People, Mother's challenge for all of you today is to claim your own minds and give yourselves credit for your own definitions of success.  If the status quo doesn't serve you, then join me in creating a new one that does.  Its all an issue of mind over matter, if we don't let them into our minds, then they don't matter!  Take back your power, it is greater than you know!

Until next time ...

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Saying Good-bye To Sanity!

Hello There Lovely Internet People!  With all of the bad news and doom and gloom that has flooded our collective psyches for the last week (more like the last several decades), Mother has lost what was left of her mind.  The shear stupidity of the people who we allow to run roughshod over our lives is more than I can take anymore.  I reached the end of my rope, and when I got there I found out the government that I had mistakenly believed had been designed to "promote the general welfare" and "protect the blessings of liberty" of the people of this country, had taken all the knots and given them to the knot hoarders, claiming they would "trickle down" to the rest of us eventually.  I don't know about the rest of you, but all I was left with was this very thin, frayed thread, made of inferior man-made fibers, and it just could not support the weight of the never-ending bullshit any longer.  

So today we bid good-bye to the remaining shreds of sanity that had kept Mother tethered to this world.  She has broken free into a world of fantasy and will not be returning to their reality in the foreseeable future.  The reality that has been manufactured by government and the media is not one I have any interest in participating in, so I am opting out, completely and totally.  You all can have it if you want, but I am just not capable of being cold and heartless enough to play along with this systematic assault on common decency and the continuous insults to my intelligence.  

So I am retreating to my little fantasy world, where facts and learning are still admirable pursuits, and propaganda based hysteria and fear are laughable, but failed, attempts to destroy the hearts and minds of people every where.  I am not going to participate in a reality where selfish greed and superficial appearances are glorified, but compassion and rational thought are vilified.  I refuse to even acknowledge the possibility of a reality in which the contents of a persons financial portfolio are more important than the content and character of their life. 

In my fantasy world, I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all people are created equal, that they are endowed by their simple existence with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to obliterate these rights, realities are instituted among Men, deriving their unjust powers from the consent of the sane, --That whenever any Form of reality becomes destructive of our rights, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new reality, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Mother has spoken.



Thursday, October 3, 2013

Mother Is Just NOT Pleased At All

Hello there lovely Internet People!  I sat down here this morning with the intent to write something funny and uplifting to try to get all of our minds of the fiasco in Washington for a few minutes, but I am having a really hard time with implementing that intent.  All of this nonsense is just so fucking ridiculously stupid that it hurts my brain.  I am so sick of being LIED to, they keep going on and on as if they think we all have the intelligence of a turnip and will fall for all of their BLATANT LIES!  I am just sick to death of the people who are supposed to be "promoting the general welfare", and "protecting the liberties" of our people tearing us apart and stripping us of our freedoms while screaming that the other side is doing what they are actually doing.

I do not like the democrats, not even a little bit, I think most of them are stupid fucking hypocrites too, but at least they aren't completely fucking insane!  There are probably hundreds of dumb shit laws on the books that need to be overturned that are actually destroying our country, to shut the Government down to protest one law that will do a hell of a lot more good than harm, is just batshit fucking greed-inspired psychopathy!  And to make claims, as some of the wackos have, that the ACA is the most evil law ever forced upon humanity is only showing what incredibly sick inhumane fucks you really are.

Do I like the ACA?  No, not really, I would have much preferred to have actual Socialized Medicine, like every other civilized country in the world.  But we can't have nice things in this country anymore because we let a bunch of self-aggrandizing, spoiled rotten fucking rich fucks take control of our entire Government and force feed us their lies for the last 70+ years!  It is time for this shit to stop!  The PEOPLE of this country need to kick the entire Government OUT of our personal lives and demand that they get back to work doing their jobs, which is to protect us from each other, and the rest of the world, not from ourselves!  Get out of our bedrooms, our bodies, and our minds, and do your damn job!  

Quit with the fucking lies to preserve the status quo.  The status quo needs to be obliterated, not preserved.  We need an extreme transfer of wealth in this country, and we need it now!  And I am not just talking about the money either, I want the damn wealth of knowledge transferred back to the people too!  I am so sick of public schools designed to churn out non-thinking drones who will do as they are told and can't think for themselves, and that is what our schools have become in this country.  If you doubt that fact, go watch a couple editions of the "Jay Walk All-Stars" from Jay Leno, or Jimmy Kimmel's last on the street interview with people over the "ACA vs Obamacare", I rest my case.  In the Information Age of today, everyone should have free and open access to actual factual information on any subject they could possibly ever want to know, and we shouldn't have to wade through thousands of fucking lies and distortions to find the fucking facts either!

I am really sick to death of the fact that EVERY time I see a "news story" I have to spend hours researching to figure out if it is true or not!  That is fucking insane!  There was a time in this country when the "News" was not allowed to lie to us, could we have that back, PLEASE!   Pretty, pretty please!  I don't think that is too much to ask, do you?  If we can't get our Government, or its employees (you know, the people who are supposed to be working FOR US), to tell us the truth, can't we at least get one segment of society that is required to tell us the truth?  No, we can't have that!  Now the government, in some places, is actually telling Doctors that they MUST LIE TO THEIR PATIENTS!  By law, they are required to tell patients things that are blatantly not true.  WTF is that!?!

We even have one branch of our Government that is REQUIRED BY LAW to lie to us every fucking day!  The people who work in the DEA are not allowed by law to say anything that goes against the agency's policies.  Never mind that many of those policies are based on LIES!  That is not relevant to them, at all.  If they want to keep their jobs they have to keep pumping the propaganda machine no matter how many lives they destroy or how much damage they do to this country.  It is truly beyond repulsive and repugnant.

I was so proud of my fellow Americans when Obama was first elected.  And I had really high hopes for his presidency, I thought we might finally have a chance to get rid of some of the actual assaults on our freedoms that the Bush Jr. administration forced down our throats.  You know like the Patriot Act and Homeland Security, the actual laws that took away our rights, the ones Obama said he would get rid of, the ones that are still there and growing every fucking day apparently.  I even was foolish enough to have hope that he would hold true to his word and not continue the persecution of medical marijuana patients.  He let me down on a lot of fronts, I am extremely disappointed in the things he has not done, but I will not sit idly by while people blame him for the problems created by the Republicans.  That's not right and it is not fair and I won't tolerate it.  His is not a Socialist, or a Communist, or a Muslim, or a Kenyan, he is just a good man, in a fucked up job, trying his best to keep our collective heads above water, and getting no help from anyone on either side of the isle.  

I am just so tired of the whole freakin mess!  The whole world seems to have flipped its priorities upside down and lost its freakin mind!  I know I like to go on to you all about how crazy I am, but I truly think I may be one of the very few sane people left on the fucking planet.  I am not the crazy one, the rest of them are.  When the only value you can see in a person is their net worth, you are the fucking crazy one.  When you scream for a "Christian Nation" but display the most UnChristian of ideologies, I think you are the crazy ones, not me.  And if the "end of times" is as near as you want to force it to be, I cannot wait to see the look an all of your damn faces when you are NOT called home during the rapture!  Your God is not smiling down upon you for shoving your ignorant, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, self-righteous nonsense upon everyone else while ignoring his most important lessons about love, and community, and the evils of greed.  He is NOT Pleased with you at all!

Your God is not going to judge this country lacking for allowing all of its citizens equality under the law, if you believe that you are seriously crazy.  He is going to be severely pissed that we fucked up his beautiful garden with all this pollution and destruction in the name of the all-mighty dollar.  And I am pretty sure he is really gonna be more than a little bit perturbed that you all are worshiping that dollar way above him.  And that whole thing about  placing yourselves above him by judging other people, when he expressly forbid that in his precious book, I just can't see that going over well either.  You people aren't just crazy, you are delusional, deluded, and just plain fucking sick in the head.  I understand that you have to keep lying to yourselves so that you can sleep at night, but just fucking quit lying to me, because I ain't buying any of it!  Never have, never will!


Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Dear Republicans

Mother is NOT Pleased would be a serious understatement today.  Mother is fucking pissed off beyond all reason at the moment.  The fact that a tiny minority of loud mouthed lunatics have managed to shut down our fucking government in a terrorist ploy to mandate their insanity is just unfuckingfathomable!  And the fact that there are still morons out there supporting these traitors is more than I can fucking take!  Lets be really fucking clear about this, the lunatics are the Republicans, if you have any doubt about that fact get the fuck off my page because you are too stupid to be here.

I have had it with every last ones of those mother fuckers and anyone stupid enough to support them.  You are sick and you should really all just be put down for the betterment of mankind. Every last one of you!  Lying selfish greedy fucking pigs who do not deserve to be allowed to foul this beautiful planet with your ugliness any longer.  You sick fuckers seem to spend everyday looking for new and worse ways to fuck up everything that is beautiful in this world and I have had more than I can fucking take of it!

The fucking Affordable Care Act is nothing more than really fucking lame insurance reform.  It is NOT health care reform!  It is NOT fucking socialized medicine, NOT EVEN CLOSE!  I am so sick of all the fucking lies and distortions!  No it ain't fucking perfect, but it is the fucking law!  Get used to it.  The only ones who are going to be hurt in the least by this are the INSURANCE COMPANIES who HAVE to take care of the people whose money they are taking instead by giving it all to the CEO and shareholders.  All the lies and bullshit are just that, bullshit dreamed up by the insurance companies trying to protect their "right" to be fucking greedy pigs!  Wake the fuck up!

The Republicans have stripped us of our civil rights, one after another for the last 12 fucking years, now they scream about not being "free" to force people to die for the ultimate sin of being poor?  I am so fucking sick of this nonsense.  Poor people have just as much right to live on this fucking planet as the richest mother fucker out there!  We are poor because people like you are allowed to use and abuse us for your own profit and we have no recourse and no alternative.  The game has always been rigged in your favor, and now you bitch that it is not rigged enough?  Just because you can't stand that the black guy got elected, twice, you deliberately set out to destroy our whole damn country?  Fuck off!