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Thursday, August 2, 2012

Thinking About Starting My Own Religion

Well, I was gonna write another blog post or two the other night, but I decided to spend some time with an old friend instead.  So I pretty much checked out of reality, well other than dealing with the kids and chores and work, and spent the last couple of days re-reading the first two books of the "Clan of the Cave Bear" books by Jean M. Auel.  I just have to say I fucking LOVE Ayla!  She is my fucking heroine above all others!  Yes, I know she isn't real, but neither are most people's "heroes" so I don't fucking care.

Okay, for anybody out there who still hasn't read the books, Ayla is the main character, the books are set in pre-historic Europe, and they follow Ayla over the course of her very eventful life from the age of 5 forward.  She is a Homo sapien child adopted and raised by a group of Neanderthals, and the author weaves a fabulous tale of the two cultures, their differences and their similarities.  The research and effort that the author put into these books was both phenomenal and inspiring in and of itself, but the conclusions she has drawn and the story telling are truly captivating.

Now when the first one was published, there was a big commotion over it, it was fabulously popular and sold million of copies spending weeks on the New York Times Best sellers lists.  And because of that I refused to read it.  I am weird like that, the more popular something is, the more likely I am to avoid it.  Even my Mother, who hates to read, read the damn thing before I did.  But still I refused.  It was out for more than a decade before I finally read it.  I was in my late twenties and going through a phase of reading everything I could that was historic and pre-historic fiction.  I found a couple of other authors around the same time that I hope to have a chance to tell you about later as well, but when I finally met Ayla, was when my life really started to change.

To me, she is probably one of, if not the greatest female characters of all fucking time.  She is the heroine of her own story, and she becomes the heroine of the stories of everyone she encounters, even the people who hate her just for being who she is..  To me she is the epitome of strength, courage, and unconditional Love.  If I was going to worship a "God" - she would be mine.  And I am totally serious when I say that, I have tears in my eyes as I type it and my heart is so full it feels like it is bursting.  I know it sounds completely ridiculous, especially if you have never read the books, you can have no clue what I really mean, but I am completely serious here.  No, I do not worship her.  But pretty damn close.

I own the complete set in the series now.  I even per-ordered the last one, months before it was released.  I admit I was disappointed in it.  Not in Alya, but in the writing of the last book, I still haven't been able to finish it.  But the the first four books are breathtakingly mesmerizing, I cannot recommend them highly enough.  I have read each of them at least 6 or 7 times over the years.  They inspire me.  They give me hope.  They give me the strength and courage to face the cold, cruel world again with the Love in my heart exposed for all to see.  I am who I am, I will not hide myself for your convenience, and I should not be asked to.  If you don't like me that is your choice, go away and leave me alone because I don't like you much either.  But I will always Love you, and do my best not to hurt you, I might even try to help you.  I don't have to like you to Love you. 

My Love is unconditional.  I Love all people, whether I like them or not, whether I agree with them or not, whether they like me or not, makes no difference to me.  I don't have to Love what you think, what you say, or how you feel, and I am not going to pretend that I do, but I will defend your right to do it.  Just as I will defend my right to tell you when I think it is stupid, cruel, and hurtful. 

I wonder, could I start my own religion worshiping a fictional character?  I am really not trying to be a smart ass here, it is a legitimate, serious question.  Alya embodies everything I would want in a deity, and her belief system putting much parallels mine, I have found guidance and salvation in her story, why couldn't I make a "real" religion out of it?  I could be the first prophet, preaching the gospel of Ayla!  I kinda like the idea.  I have never had much need for religion in my life, but I might just change my mind for this one.  I promise I will try not to become too radical in my fundamentalism, oh who the hell am I kidding, when I have I ever been anything but radical?

1 comment:

  1. Check out neo-paganism :) There are many Goddesses! I am thankful for my Pagan Religion. It has empowered me as a female, restored my faith and the wonders of the universe!

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