Sunday, January 29, 2012
Just a person ... with a lot of nothing to say
Every time I sit down to type out one of these blog posts I always wonder why in the world would I ever think anyone would want to read my crazy rants and ramblings. I have no idea why any of you read this shit that I write, but it appears that some people at least like to give the illusion of wanting to read it, so I keep writing. I figure that as much as I have screwed up my own life over the course of it, maybe somebody out there can learn from my mistakes even if they can't see what I view as my success. So I just throw it all out there. If something sticks in your head, cool. I hope it helps in your journey through your life, if only as comic relief.
I am a woman of the twenty-first century, I have an opinion on everything, and I am not going to be afraid to share those opinions any more! My relatives kept me quiet all my life because they didn't like my opinions, they were “different”, and that was NOT acceptable. Now that I don't talk to any of them any more, I am not staying quiet anymore. I may bounce between self-esteem issues to politics to dyeing fabric, from religion to parenting to quilting, and all over the map in between, but everything I say, everything I believe, comes from my life experiences and my personal education. I don't claim to have any answers, but I can see that there are some serious issues of right and wrong that need to be addressed, and we are too busy being entertained to do anything about it. I am no different. I am never going to get off my ass and go march with the people on the street. I wish I could, but frankly I am too lazy, too concerned for my own comfort, to actually go and do something.
So, You can look at me as a spoiled, opinionated, lazy, middle aged woman who has frequent emotionally charged psychological meltdowns in a very public manner. Or, You can look at me as the sweet little crazy hippie lady on the corner who treats everyone with equal love and respect, and believes the world would be a better place if everybody else did too. Or, I guess You could ignore me entirely, but if you are reading this, I think its a little too late for that. However you choose to look at what I have to say, I thank you for looking. I have no idea where Mother is going over the course of the upcoming weeks and months, but I guarantee I am going to find a way to enjoy this ride, and I hope you will enjoy it with me.
I don't have many friends in real life. I don't much care for the company of other people. It makes it easier for me to Love everybody if I never have to deal with anyone in person. There are some people I love to talk to and hang out with, I enjoy intelligent discussions, and I like being silly and ridiculous, usually in the same conversation, and unfortunately most people can't seem to keep up. I offend lots of people, all the time, without ever meaning to. I am sarcastic to a fault, and living with a moron for ten very long years and raising special needs children made me have a way of talking about things in such a simplified way that some people think I am insulting their intelligence when that was never my intent.
I enjoy making fun of life. That's how I learned to cope with the struggles that life threw at me, by laughing at them. I do not make fun of people, but I have no problem making fun of the shit life throws at all of us. I have always tried to live my life without hurting anyone. I haven't always succeeded. I have done a lot of things I am not proud of. And I have hurt people who I cared very deeply for, but that was never my intent. I have never been a great mom, but the kids that are a part of my life are happy and healthy and are all people I want to hang around with.
I think every person on the planet should have the right to live their life however the heck they want to as long as they don't interfere with anyone else's right to live their life. I do not understand how it is anyone else's business who I chose to spend my life with, how I choose to raise my kids, or how I choose to treat what ails me. Now if what I want to do has an actual effect on you, that's a different story. Who I want to marry only effects you if I am marrying YOU. How I raise my kids becomes your business ONLY if they cause a problem for someone else. And what I do to my body is NONE of your damn business.
Now IF You decide that you DO have the right to tell someone else how they should live their life, at least make sure you have some fragment of moral ground to stand on, otherwise, STFU! It is really tiresome listening to hypocritical blowhards tell me I am a terrible, bad, sinful person because I am an Atheist, but its quite alright for them to do whatever the Hell they want because all they have to do is ask for God's forgiveness, then say they got it, and POOF! Like magic, they are somehow all forgiven, and NOW they are on God's personal message board so they know EXACTLY how GOD wants ME to live! Spare me.
I am human. I am flawed. I am unique, just like everyone else. I accept my flaws, I embrace my differences, and I embrace the differences in others. Every day of their lives my kids have all heard me tell them how weird they are. And they have never had any doubt whatsoever that being weird is a GOOD thing! We celebrate their uniqueness. Bullies always have a hard time picking on my kids, they tend to refuse to acknowledge the existence of anyone who doesn't embrace their weirdness. My 9 year-old had a kid back in his Kindergarten class that was always trying to “get a rise” out of him. My husband was mad because the teacher wasn't putting a stop to it quickly enough. I just had to laugh, our son hadn't even noticed, he just thought the other kid had “something wrong with him” so our son ignored the attempts at “bullying” and tried to interest the other kid in something more constructive to do with his time.
So for whatever reason you have decided to follow me on this journey, I welcome you! I can't promise you a laugh filled ride, but I'll do my best to throw what I think is chuckle worthy in whenever I can. I don't promise a “post every day”, even the thought of trying that makes me chuckle! I will do my best to post at least once a week, more when I can. I have some funny stories to share, and hopefully some thought provoking opinions and observations on the human condition and the conditions that humans inflict upon one another. I am actually putting a lot of thought into where I want to take this, but mostly I am just going to keep rambling occasionally about whatever the hell happens to be on my mind when I have the time to sit down to type. Hey, I may be crazy, but at least I am honest.