Friday, September 14, 2012

Post #100 of the Year

I just noticed that this will be the 100th Blog post I have written this year!  Wow!  I don't know about you, but I am fucking impressed.  None of my other favorite bloggers write that much.  Maybe that's why they are more popular than I am.  I probably talk too much.  I know I say too much.  I just don't know when to keep my big mouth shut,  Well, I know when, I just refuse to do it.

To those of you who have taken the time from your busy lives to read my insane ramblings, whether it was just one, or all of them, THANK YOU.  And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.  I really never expected anybody to read this shit except maybe my oldest son, or my husband, and I didn't even expect them to read all of it! When I started this Blog I just really needed to have a place where I could finally release all of the frustrations and irritations of my life in a world that more often than not, doesn't seen to want me around.

For the first time in my life there seems to be at least a few people out there in the world who can see that there are a lot of things more important then money.  Finding other people who measure the value of a person by more than the balance of their bank accounts truly has lifted my spirits in ways I could never begin to find the words to express.

All of my life I have been told how crazy I am, how naive I am, how foolish I am, how unrealistic I am, and of course,  how "bad" and "despicable" I am, and I have learned accept that there will always be people who would choose to look at me that way.  There is nothing I can do about that..  But to learn that I am not alone in this world.  Well, to tell you the truth, that is still taking some getting used to.  I have ALWAYS been alone. In my entire life there has only ever been one person who has ever really wanted to listen to me, there has only ever been one person who has ever shown me that what I think and how I feel about things is actually important to him, and I had to give birth to him to find him!  Even my wonderful husband doesn't want to listen to me, he says I am "too emotional".  Duh!  Who the fuck did he think he married?  "Too Emotional", what the fuck does that even mean?  Of Course I am "Too Emotional", dude, have you even met me?

And now suddenly, there are real people, not only wanting to listen to what I think and how I feel, but they are even agreeing with me sometimes!  You are not telling me I am "too emotional" or  otherwise "bad" (well, not the ones of you I am actually listening to anyway).  I cannot express, I cannot even begin to express, how immensely overwhelming and empowering this entire experience has been.  To believe that there could even be one other person in the entire world who wanted to hear what I had to say; I had given up hoping for that a long time ago.

Some of you have taken the time to thank me for putting your feelings into words, but the truth is, I am always the one who should be, and is, Thanking all of YOU.  Having complete strangers from around the world who are willing to take a few precious minutes out of their generally all-too-busy lives to not only "listen" to me, but to even sometimes agree with me, when no one in my "real life" ever has, ... There really are no words, all I can say is THANK YOU, from the core of my very being, I Thank YOU for listening to me.

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