Progress and Regress

Hello there Internet People!  Mother is back to try this whole writing a Blog post thing again.  I spent a couple hours here doing that last night, but all I ended up with was paragraph after paragraph of me either bitching and moaning or saying shit that I probably shouldn't be saying in public, so it never got posted.  I am feeling much better at the moment, so I thought maybe I should try again.

I have mentioned (repeatedly) that I have been working for my husband for the past week or so (could be less, seems like way more).  I am officially 2/3s of the way through round one as of a couple hours ago.  I have no idea how many rounds there will be before I am done, but I think this is the biggest of them, so getting through it is a major accomplishment for me.  The work I have to do is mind numbingly tedious, boring, and repetitive, so I have to celebrate the milestones whenever possible or I would lose my mind completely.

I am having a hell of a time figuring out what the fuck I am going to write about today.  I have started this paragraph and deleted it 7 times in the last hour and still haven't gotten anywhere.  My ego is in a down swing on the whole art thing, so I don't want to talk about that at the moment, and I think I have lost touch with what the hell else there is in life that I can talk about.  I have been doing some baking, but most of it was from boxed mixes off the shelf and not too exciting. 

I have mentioned that this time of year just fucks with my head.  In years past I managed to block out all the negative crap in my head by obsessive-compulsively making presents for people who never appreciated them or me.  I am not doing that this year, so I am kinda lost.  I can't decide whether I want to finish some of the projects I have already started or start something entirely new and different and so I end up not doing anything at all because I can't decide what to do.  I am driving myself batty.  Good thing that is a short trip.  For now, I guess I will go make lunch for the boys.  At least I will be doing something, even if it is only for a few minutes ...