Friday, February 22, 2013
Hello again Internet People! It is a grey, windy, dreary looking day outside today and I am just sitting here on my bed trying to figure out what to write about today. Progress is being made on the "Monumental" project. Last night I figured out how I am going to color the petals for the Jonquils and the fabric for the pussy willows, so I will probably be doing that later today.
But I didn't want to write another boring update post, we need some more excitement around here! There must be something more interesting than fabric flowers to talk about, but I am hard pressed to figure out what that is at the moment.
I was watching (well, I was listening to) a show on TV a few weeks ago about how people like to lie on the internet. It was a 20/20 or Nightline type show exposing all these people who had made up stories about themselves (or others) and spread them around the internet looking for attention or even money. I just do not understand those people.
I have mentioned before I think that I have always seen the internet as the only place I was really free to be honest, it the only place where I do not have to hide who I am and what I really believe. I don't understand the attraction of lying on the internet. So you manage to fool people who had no way of knowing any better, does that make you special or something? I just don't get it.
My life had been fucked-up enough that I don't need to make up stories I guess. And, although it was extremely important to me as a child to be the center of attention, I outgrew that a couple of decades ago. Now I would rather blend in with crowd, I don't like being noticed. I guess there must be part of me that still craves attention, since I am here writing this Blog for the whole world to see, but I still don't try very hard to get it noticed either. And I rarely talk about anything all that personal, or even interesting. There is a reason or that. As much as I would love to have hundreds of followers, I would hate to have hundreds of followers. Too much pressure, too many expectations, and too great a risk of somebody telling me that they don't like me.
I reckon that is the biggest fear I have. Because I am being honest and truthfully myself, when people slam what I have to say, they are slamming me. And I do totally take every fucking bit of it personally. I know I shouldn't, and I have been working very hard at not doing it, but I still do. Everything is personal to me.
The one thing that stuck with me the most about that show was when they went through a list of warning signs to look for to show that someone is making the shit up. Like an unbelievably high amount of bad things happening in their life, repeatedly and for a very long time without stopping. Unfortunately, that is MY life! I have had times where it was literally one pile of shit after another being dumped into my life, so much so that if I hadn't been living it, I never would have believed it either. It all fucking happened though, if I was going to make shit up it would be a whole lot more fun than the crap I have had to deal with, that's for damn sure!
I guess we should feel sorry for those people who do feel the need to make up shit to post on the internet. What a very sad life they must have if the only way they think they can get people to care about them is to lie. I can't even comprehend the level of sadness that those people must live with every day, and I suffered from severe, chronic depression for a quarter of a century!
I cannot promise you that I will always make sense, or that I will always have something important to tell you, but I can give you a 100% money back guarantee that I will never lie to you. Not on purpose anyway. I might occasionally misrepresent my position on something, but that is a matter of not finding the correct words at the time, it is never about deception! I might bore you. I might irritate you. I might even offend you. But I will never lie to you. Please don't lie to me (unless you are telling me how wonderful you think I am, I can take those lies all day, any day!).
Until next time ...