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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

George Carlin Was a Psychic!?!

Hello, hello, hello!  I hope everyone is having a good day out there in the internet world!  I have been sitting here for the last few days having a grand time listening the two of my favorite comedy geniuses, and personal heroes, Christopher Titus, and the legendary George Carlin.  And I just came upon some stuff that George recorded in 1999, as part of the "You Are All Diseased" tour, that blew my mind!  I never before realized that George Carlin was a psychic!  Seriously!  The dude predicted the future, and he did it so freaking accurately it brought goosebumps to my arms! 

He starts off early in the piece, bitching about airport security.  Remember, this is recorded in 1999!  Before 9/11, before Homeland Security, before airport security turned into the state-sponsored, state-mandated, molestation and irradiation of innocent civilians in the name of their "safety".  I don't know about anyone else, but I don't feel safer.  I refuse to fly because those people terrify me far more than the terrorists!  I have no desire to be groped and nuked by complete strangers.  None.  At all.  Thanks anyway.

Then George goes on to say just how easily Americans today (or 14 years ago, same difference) are persuaded to give up their liberties for the illusion of safety!  Oh my fucking gawd!  How fucking right he was!  While everybody is distracted by the latest escapade of Britney Spears, or whatever celebrity is misbehaving this week, our elected representatives slowly and quietly, or sometimes loudly and quickly, have been stripping our Constitutional Rights away, one by one.

But all that isn't actually what really got me.  I mean hit me in the gut like a fucking contraction during child birth. These things were slightly prophetic, but, given the state of our world at the time, they were probably kinda expected more than predicted.  But he told of this vision of the unimaginable levels of stupidity Americans are willing to drop to, that at the time seemed so far-fetched, there is no way he could have known it would come true!  No fucking way!  But he called it.  Totally and completely, called it. 

 What really got me was his bit about "Angels".  The piece is about a minute and a quarter long, and he starts out talking about how, at that time, 3 out of every 4 Americans believed in Angels.  And, being George, he goes off on a rant about how incredibly stupid that is.  And then ... the almighty one, in his almighty and all-knowing wisdom, says ... "I say if you are gonna buy the Angel shit you might as well go for the  zombie package as well." (emphasis mine) (Type "George Carlin Angels" into the search on YouTube, its there if you don't believe me.)

Oh my fucking gawd!  As George sayeth, so shall it be done!  Not all of us, fortunately, but currently 14% of Americans actually believe they need to worry about the coming Zombie Apocalypse!  Our own government put out a publication to tell people what to do in the event there is a Zombie outbreak in their area!  WTF!  I mean seriously! What the Fuck is that?  I mean I know we have laws on the books that make it illegal for ordinary citizens to attempt to communicate with aliens, but I think they have taken this shit a step too far.

I think the real question here is, did George predict the future?  Or, did our Governmental leaders and the Hollywood executives spend way too much time listening to George, and they just stole his ideas?  Personally, I would bet on the latter.  But then, I don't believe in psychics any more than I believe in Zombies, or angels.  I do believe George Carlin was a genius, and he had a pretty good handle on the potential stupidity Americans are capable of, but probably not a psychic.  More than likely. 

Until Next Time ...


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