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Monday, September 2, 2013

Learning to Eat

Hello again my Dear Internet People!  I hope today finds everyone out there enjoying life at least a little bit.  I am doing my best over here.  I am sure you all will be thrilled to hear that I did make it outside this morning, and I managed to put in a whole hour into the flower bed!  You would be hard pressed to tell where, but I did.  I made it to the Irises and Roses, and after an hour of yanking and pulling, I have decided I am going to dig the whole section up and clean it out that way.

The roses were there when we moved in.  The Irises and assorted other flowering plants that are hidden in there all came from my parent's backyard.  And all of them were inundated with salt grass before they ever went into the ground, which was also inundated with salt grass.  I didn't have the time to clean them out before I put them in the ground, so I need to take the time to do it now.  I may end up digging up the whole damn flower bed before I am done, knowing me, so I have to be careful now to go all obsessive-compulsive on this one.  Um, ... I mean, ... Not to go.  No going OCD on something else now Mother, that would not be good.   

Once I finished cleaning up from my foray into the great outdoors, I came back in the house and ate some yogurt.  Then I did the dishes, and cleaned the kitchen, and ate one of them breakfast Hot Pocket things that I don't like.  Well, I ate most of it anyway.  I only mention this because I am still having trouble forcing myself to eat an adequate amount of food, so I am trying to give myself some credit and encouragement when I do eat.  The temperatures around here are finally supposed to fall down into the low 80's by the end of this week, so I am preparing to start baking in hopes that that will get me more enthused about eating.  I love home made breads and pies, can't stand most of the store bought stuff, its just nasty, but home made, now that is good.  So, since the only one around here that is going to make me any home made baked goods is me, I am anxiously awaiting the temperature drops of Fall so that I can get on with it already.

When I first moved out on my own, I never bought much of anything pre-packaged.  I mean like cake mixes, and bread mixes, Hamburger Helper, stuff like that, I didn't buy that stuff.  Heck I never even tasted Hamburger Helper until after I married the Moron.  I made most things "from scratch" as they say.  I have never made pasta, I bought that, but I always put together the whatever that went on it.  Anyway, my point was, that I think I liked food more when I made it "from scratch".  The more I moved towards the pre-packaged stuff as I got older, and busier, the less I wanted to eat.  Not that eating was ever something I did a lot of, but I don't recall a time when I have ever eaten less than I have been the last few years.  I wasn't exaggerating when I told you all before that the average 2-year-old consumes more solid food in a day than I usually did.  

Notice that is a "did", past tense, as in not doing that anymore.  (By the way, I also just went and ate 6 Club crackers with that nasty ass Easy Cheese stuff spread on top too.)   Yes, at the moment I am still eating crap, in addition to the good food, but I am also working towards eating mostly the good food, that's just gonna take a little longer.  The point right now is to just keep eating.  It doesn't matter what it is, as long as I can swallow it.  We will work on eating healthy once I relearn to actually eat.

I keep telling you, its all one step at a time.  And I will probably keep saying it, because it is so very true, and because I need to be reminded of it, constantly.  I didn't make this mess in one day, I ain't gonna clean it up in one day either.  And since there are so many messes, on so many levels, well, I think it is safe to say that clean up on aisle 4 (and aisle 5, and aisles 6, 7, 8, etc.) is going to be an ongoing process for the foreseeable future.

Well, now that I have put away the groceries my husband just brought home, ate half a croissant, and bored you all to tears, I guess I better sign outta here and get on with the rest of my day.  I think I will go in search of new recipes for good things to eat this afternoon.  Wish me luck.

Until next time ...   


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