Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Me? Relax? Now That Is Funny
Hello again Internet People! Mother is still hard at work trying to convince herself that she can draw. Progress is being made, but it is really slow. I am still very stiff, very hesitant, I need to learn allow myself to relax and enjoy the process and quit worrying so much about the results. Its my hypercritical nature that limits me more than anything. I expect so much more from myself than I would ever even dream of expecting from anyone else. I need to quit that.
Its kinda funny, I am the first one to admit that I am not perfect, and yet I constantly demand perfection from myself, but only in areas where perfection does not exist. I don't try to be perfect at things that are perfect-able, only the ones that are not. Like art. There is no perfect in art. Truly, there is no right or wrong in art either, but I manage to find that too. I am my own worst critic, always have been, but I am trying hard not to be so damn critical anymore. I am not succeeding yet, but I am trying.
I think learning to just relax is my biggest challenge. I don't know that I have ever truly been relaxed. I am severely high-strung by nature and my life hasn't afforded me a lot of opportunities to wind that down. I have tried meditation, hypnosis, bio-feedback, etc, ad naseum, none of it works for me. I have knots in my shoulders older than most of my children, no amount of massaging will ever work them out, I just learned to live with them. My mind is stuck in hyper-drive, all the time. I need to at least find a way to channel that energy more effectively if I can't shut it off, because it is really slowing me down right now.
In the meantime, I better go eat something and get back to work. There is still much for me to do today and the hours are quickly ticking away. Until next time ...